Walking sucks now… thanks Dean Kamen!

10/28

Dear Mr. Kamen,

First off, thank you for making the world a better place. Seriously, your inventions have changed humanity and even now you still get up every morning and manage to kick more and more ass each day. Before I get to complaining, I’ve really gotta say that your brain-controlled robotic arm is effing magic...effing magic.

Ok, so on Monday I got a chance to ride a Segway and it really is AMAZING. The girlfriend got us a 2 hour Segway tour around a local park for my birthday. I’ve gotta tell you NICE JOB MAN! Congratulations of figuring out a way to combine all the douchebaggyness of a Porche driver with the social awkwardness of a computer science grad.

The looks people give a Segway rider are priceless, most sound like ”that man is an effing douche” unless the person you run across happens to be on a bike in of which they’re more like ”I payed $172 for this girls bike on craigslist and I have more self-respect then you”.

By the by, I’m totally OK with people thinking I’m a douche so that isn’t what bugs me, in fact if you can get a model out there with a Lamborghini yellow paint job and 24” spinners that would be the model I’d buy. No, my complaint is that now that I’m no longer ridding a human transporter, every step is a mini-letdown.

Thanks Dean Kamen, thanks for ruining every step I take until I order my douchey yellow Segway.

EFF YOU DEAN.

Take care,
Chris Hughes

P.S. Kudos on inventing the insulin pump.